Thursday, July 21, 2005

THE ROAD AHEAD: UPDATE

Well, it turns out it is not MS. But now we have more questions than answers. Lisa had another MRI yesterday and had to "donate" eleven vials of blood, but hopefully today the lab results will tell us more about what is going on.

When Jonah, our 22-month-old son, was so sick with fever and seizures at the age of 7-12 days, the worst part about the experience was the unknown. After spinal taps and MRIs and blood tests and lab work and brain scans ad nauseum, they still could not figure out what was wrong with him...what was causing the seizures that was keeping us at his bedside, nudging him in his side every 10-15 minutes to get him to remember to breathe after he would stop. It's the proverbial roller coaster from hell that we humans put ourselves on because of our prideful notion of being "in control." If we just know what we're fighting, we can plan a defense, right? Right?

I remember being so (foolishly) angry that despite all of our modern scientific advances, we (they) still could not determine what was causing my little guy so much pain. Each test resulted in crossing off another round of possible maladies. This resulted in sighs of relief each time because it wasn't "that disease or this affliction" but as the list dwindled it also became frustrating because the longer we went without knowing what we were fighting, the more helpless to take action we were. Mistreatment without knowing what the cause was could have killed him. So we have to wait, submit to the fact that it really is out of our control, and pray and trust that God is looking out for our loved ones. Easier said than done to be sure.

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