Monday, April 10, 2006


This Calvin & Hobbes comic got me to thinking about something so prevelant in our culture today: victimhood. Indeed one no longer has to look to Oprah and her ilk to find it as it is a daily part of our headlines. From our Olympic athletes to Cynthia McKinney, victimhood is everywhere. Why? Because it's so damned easy. We're a generation of narcissists, and none of us seems immune. I myself have been mired in one form of this or another for the past few years and only recently decided enough was enough. I didn't used to be this way, but when you see the prevailing tide accepting of it you eventually figure out it's easier and think why fight it? No more. I am going to fight it. I want my life back. And when I became a victim, that's exactly what I gave up control own life and my own decisions. I abdicated.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger has a new book out called Bad Childhood Good Life which will be snarked at by those who champion the "compassion" for victims. While I share in that compassion, I also believe that a form of compassion is empowering people to break the cycle and be free of that feeling of being a victim. From a review by Molly Stark:
As the blunt, brutally honest Dr. Laura sees it, we have much more control over our life’s direction—and a duty to responsibly steer it—than we’re sometimes willing to admit.  She counsels us to get over the past by moving past it; to stop continually blaming others for the bad choices we now as adults freely make; to take control of our future instead of letting our yesterdays choke the joy out of our tomorrows. 

Dr. Laura loudly proclaims: “Continuing to be an adult victim is voluntary.”

Unfortunately, for some forever-victims, “The emotional pull of the past…is more powerful than the logic of the moment.”  And these folks, instead of being “individuals with a past” become “individuals defined by the past.”

Now stop for a moment and think about the society in which we live.  Does is ever seem responsibility light?  One where we overlook the poor behavior of many adult adolescents intent on playing peek-a-boo with the real world?

Do you know people who continually act out their tragic past dramas over and over and over again—forcing others to be part of their painful stage plays? 

Are you one of them? 

And why is this “victim” mentality so deeply entrenched in the souls of some? 


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