Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Talk, talk, talk

According to a new book written (naturally) by a woman, women talk three times as much as men.
It is something one half of the population has long suspected - and the other half always vocally denied. Women really do talk more than men.

In fact, women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than the average man.


Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat - and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices, a new book suggests.

Honestly, is this really a surprise to anyone? I get my buzz from a bottle of lager, and communicate by grunting. OF COURSE women talk more than I do!

Dr Brizendine, a self-proclaimed feminist, says the differences can be traced back to the womb, where the sex hormone testosterone moulds the developing male brain.

The areas responsible for communication, emotion and memory are all pared back the unborn baby boy.

The result is that boys - and men - chat less than their female counterparts and struggle to express their emotions to the same extent.

"Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road," said Dr Brizendine, who runs a female "mood and hormone" clinic in San Francisco.

I was going to argue about this point with this "doctor", but it would involve using really big words that I can never remember, and to be honest I just really am not emotionally compelled to do so. She's dead to me. I'll be over here with my Matchbox cars driving in the little dirt roads I've created in my dirt driveway.

Which lead, by the way, to my super-duper huge airport. Read on:

Dr Brizendine says the brain's "sex processor" - the areas responsible for sexual thoughts - is twice as big as in men than in women, perhaps explaining why men are stereotyped as having sex on the mind.

Or, to put it another way, men have an international airport for dealing with thoughts about sex, "where women have an airfield nearby that lands small and private planes".

Here the good doctor makes a lapse in reasoning however and actually disproves her main point due to her zeal in composing her man-hatred-filled screed:

There are, however, advantages to being the strong, silent type. Dr Brizendine explains that testosterone also reduces the size of the section of the brain involved in hearing - allowing men to become "deaf" to the most logical of arguments put forward by their wives and girlfriends.

Guess what dearie...you talk twice as much because we are ignoring you! You have to say it twice. Or more accurately, we're not ignoring you but fantasizing about landing our big airplanes on a small airfield somewhere. Maybe on Wisteria Lane.

I need a beer. Where do I keep that stuff? <---all monosyllabic words  <snort>


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